Navigating Change

Transitions. Life is full of them. Whether it’s readying a child for a new school year, feathering an empty nest, continuing our education as a non-traditional student, or stepping through the threshold from full-time work into retirement, change comes. Though some life-changes can be anticipated and even planned, others manifest unbidden, coming out of nowhere. When a planned transition arrives with unforeseen challenges, or something completely unexpected happens, we may find ourselves navigating uncharted waters.

Starting Where You Are

Sea-faring sailors once charted their course by the night sky. The stars remain a reliable guide even today, provided someone on board has the knowledge and skill required to determine the current position (at sea) and the direction to be traveled (the next port). Therein lies the role of the therapist: helping us discover where we are and where we wish to be.

When we’re in a place of anticipation, like preparing for a new school year, we may feel enthusiastic, even eager to begin. And, at the same time, we could experience bouts of sleeplessness, anxiety, or uncertainty. In response we might choose to attend an orientation, speak with a trusted classmate, or give our self-care essentials a boost. If, during this time, something unanticipated happens (a change in transportation, childcare, or financial stability) it may result in confusion, feelings of loss, helplessness, frustration, or any range of emotions including anger, fear, or sadness.

Whatever we are feeling we need not abandon ship, nor do we need to navigate the challenges all alone.

Better Not Perfect

Engaging a therapist can provide a safe space in which to explore our emotions, what’s working for us and what’s not, our capacity and conscious choices—helping us determine where we are then guiding us in discerning where we wish to be.

As our navigator, a therapist may guide us in:

• establishing coping strategies for mindfulness;

• cognitive behavioral approaches to assist with reframing troubling thoughts;

• establishing meaningful, realistic goals; and

• envisioning what lies ahead then making choices that bring us where we wish to be.

Even when circumstances limit what is possible, making better choices matters. Our efforts in learning and changing course are to be celebrated. Choosing someone to trust with our emotional well-being, real-life struggles and hopes for the future—asking for help—is a courageous act. Engaging with a therapist is a partnership of sorts, establishing empathy and a shared understanding are essential, as are creating safe space and building rapport.

Exploring Your Why?

There are many reasons people seek therapy, so a great first step is to ask: “Why am I seeking therapy right now?”  Simplicity is the key here. Be truthful with yourself. Jot down a few thoughts and move forward.

Add to your notes some brief thoughts as you consider: “Who would I feel most comfortable with?” Some attributes include:

• cultural sensitivity;

• native language;

• gender;

• ethnicity;

• professional experience;

• credentials;

• specialties;

• telehealth or in-person appointments;

• individual or group/family sessions;

• availability between sessions (messaging or email);

• insurance, an EAP, and/or other payment options.

You may find therapy to be helpful in addressing any one of many challenges including (but not limited to):

• anxiety;

• behavior issues;

• burnout;

• depression;

• difficulty coping with life changes;

• distressing memories;

• experiencing grief or loss;

• family issues;

• feeling lost, hopeless, overwhelmed, or disconnected;

• inability to sleep;

• negative thinking;

• perfectionism;

• shame;

• stress;

• transitions; and

• trauma.

  
  

Help Is Within Reach

Psychology Today offers an updated database of therapists, as do national mental health organizations. A referral from your healthcare provider, or someone you know and trust, may also be a good place to start. Contacting the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at work or accessing the provider directory published by your insurance company are other options.

If now is the time, take the next step. Find a therapist—someone with the knowledge and skill to help you determine where you are right now and where you truly wish to be.